It’s been 10 years since I wrote my dissertation on self-forgiveness for my doctorate degree. What a journey it was; one that taught me many things and exposed me to so many different people trying to heal from the choices they made. I felt that my work was profound in that I explored a different method to understand self-forgiveness so that it was more easily attained, as opposed to something elusive. I had always been bothered by a statement I heard many people say that “they had an easier time forgiving someone else than they had in forgiving themselves.” In my mind, that declaration simply did not make sense and I wanted know why.
In a medical analogy, self-forgiveness is a critical and necessary treatment modality to heal deep emotional wounds, whether caused by self or by another person. It is self-administered and self-regulated and there are no side effects. It is a holistic approach to self-care and self-health. It is what the mind needs in order to heal thyself!
Every journey of forgiving another starts with first forgiving yourself. Eventually, forgiving someone else is not about giving them a gift that they may or may not deserve but instead it is a release of what you did not want to begin with. What you did not want was holding these feelings of anger, resentment and/or revenge (especially when you are blaming yourself for a choice you made) and what you do want is your spirit back.
Forgiveness is about getting rid of something that is harmful to you and replacing it with what is healthy for you. The gift in forgiveness, whether it is for self or others, is always to the giver by reclaiming your whole self and that part of your spirit that was taken from you. Self-forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves.
If you are looking for more insight into how forgiving yourself first can change your life visit my Work With Me page to schedule a complimentary Discovery Call.